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Nina Friendzoned

Nina is the eleventh girl unlocked in the game. She is unlocked by having $100,000,000 in your wallet. She crushes your butler interview and becomes your sassy Irish maid.

Personality Edit

Nina absolutely loves money. With a passion for wealth and expensive objects, you, as the player, will have to buy her a variety of gifts, such as cars. This will, however, cost you billions of dollars unless you choose to use Diamonds.

As you get to know her and the relationship flourishes, Nina grows to care for you somewhat. As the game progresses, Nina eventually disguises herself as you/impersonates you after an accidental double-booking with Elle and Fumi. Eventually, Nina adds that she will "Avenge your death" to your last will and testament.

Despite of her many skills and growing affections for you, she still can't remove that one stain you got on a latex suit you apparently have.

Dialogue ListEdit

First Meeting Edit

  1. Now that you're a billionaire, you decide it's time to hire a swarthy butler to help keep your house tidy and your schedule on track.
  2. Suddenly, a fiery maid bursts into the room, slamming her resume on the table! All of the other butlers scatter through the winds!
  3. Interview - CRUSHED!
  4. This fiery lass has completely crushed the interview. You should probably hire her, and develop a pithy and flirty relationship with her.

Adversary Edit

Sorry Edit

  • Ye call that atonin'?! I wanna see charm! I wanna see smarm!
  • Look a' this place! Tis not fit fer man nor beast! Call me Dust Slayer!
  • Alright! Time ta whip this shoddy empire into shape!

Poking Edit

  • Ow! Ye wee, sleekit, cowran, tim'rous beastie! I'll cuff ya if ye persist!

Upgrade to Nuisance Edit

  1. I think you'll find my credentials to be in order, Boss. Also, I look pretty great in a pair of heels. [OK]
  2. That's the way. Think of me as a personal assistant ye can practice yer lame pick up lines on.

Nuisance Edit

  • I cleaned the gutters while you were offline. Turns out that's where yer mind was!

Sorry Edit

  • I cook. I clean. I do basic auto repair. Stock consultations. CPR. Wine makin'. Bitcoin minin'. And yo yo, make a good cup of cocoa.
  • Tha name's Nina, and I'll be playin the part of your sassy and flirtatious maid.
  • Is that any way to talk to your Girl Friday? Throw in a pithy comeback or two!
  • Alright, this is already lookin' better. But we've got lots of work ta do!
  • Alright, let's see you smoulder. That's right! Get those bedroom eyes fired up! I want to feel tingles!

Poke Edit

Ow! Ye wee, sleekit, cowran, tim'rous beastie! I'll cuff ya if ye persist!

Upgrade to Frenemy Edit

  1. Ye have the scariest tax return I've ever seen. Why do you have so many jobs? HOW do ye have so many jobs? Are ye daft? [...?]
  2. Well, I can't argue with billions of dollars. No really, I've tried. It's time consumin'!

Frenemy Edit

  • I would shoot ye a nasty look, but I see ye've already got one. OH NO I DIDN'T!!

Gift Edit

  • Hahaha! What possessed you to buy this? Satan?

Upgrade to Acquaintances Edit

  1. Ye've made quite a bit of progress. I dare say ye might even be quite the catch. Are ye feelin' fishy? [Sure]
  2. Great! Channel yer inner sturgeon! Embrace the tuna in yer heart. Or whatever. I might be drunk.

Acquaintances Edit

  • Bonnibel dropped off some cookies for ye. I ate 'em. I have no regrets.

Poke Edit

  • No! Hahaha! Stop! Ye don't want to pick a tickle fight with me!

Gift Edit

  • Hahaha! What possessed you to buy this? Satan?

Upgrade to Friendzone Edit

  1. Alright, this is the part we progress to the Friendzone. Are ye' feelin friendly? [Yes]
  2. Sorry, that was lame. I'm not one for gettin' all shy and demure. If I'd have my way, we'd already be at third base or so. Oh well.

Friendzone Edit

Chat Edit

  • You've got a horse surgery booked for 11:30, and a bomb disarmin' at noon. Oh! And the President is on line 3.
  • Bloody Heck! I still can't get this label off the new non-stick pan I bought. I bloody well hate irony!
  • I washed and pressed all your knickers. And I sewed that one pair with the holes. Did you get into a fight with a bear or somethin'?
  • I took the liberty of organizin' your vintage action figures and comic books. Ya bloody nerd.
  • Looking good Boss. I dare say, there's hope for ya yet!
  • Goin' out for a drink are we? I'll be ready to hold yer hair later!

Poke Edit

  • Ye must be a wizard, because ye've got magic fingers...

Gift Edit

  • Great! More clutter for me to dust... Just kiddin'!

Upgrade to Awkward Besties Edit

  1. Noice work there Boss. Now we're right and proper enamored. now I can start up with the inappropriate puns. [Ok]
  2. A fine tradition, stretchin' back to the beginnin' of the modern age...

Awkward Besties Edit

  • I was goin' over yer last will and testament, and added the request to "avenge your death" to your next of kin.

Flirt Edit

  • I updated your social media. I liked a whole bunch of old photos of your ex girlfriends. Turns out I'm evil incarnate.
  • Flattery won't get you anywhere... But keep tryin'...
  • I couldn't get the stain out of yer latex body suit. Which is rather astoundin'. How did you bloody well stain latex?
  • I was goin' over yer bank statements, and it looks like ye've spent 1.4 billion dollars at the beach. 1) How did you do this? 2) Why didn't you buy the beach?
  • Why Boss, are ye flirtin' with me? That's hardly professional...
  • Me favorite hobby is riding nude on horseback through the forest on moonlit nights.
  • Looks like ye've double booked Elle and Fumi tonight. So I've been practicing my impression of you. Which one should I take?

Gift Edit

  • Ya posh wanker. Don't ye got anything better to do with your unusual wealth?

Upgrade to Crush Edit

  1. I double checked my employment agreement, and there's nothing in there about not flirtin' with the staff. This is crucial information. [OK]
  2. Well, now ye know. And knowledge is power.

Crush Edit

  • I washed yer socks. What the heck have you been usin' 'em for?!

Flirt Edit

  • I couldn't get the stain out of yer latex body suit. Which is rather astoundin'. How did you bloody well stain latex?
  • Me favorite hobby is riding nude on horseback through the forest on moonlit nights.
  • I was goin' over yer bank statements, and it looks like ye've spent 1.4 billion dollars at the beach. 1) How did you do this? 2) Why didn't you buy the beach?
  • Flattery won't get you anywhere... But keep tryin'...
  • Looks like ye've double booked Elle and Fumi tonight. So I've been practicing my impression of you. Which one should I take?
  • Why Boss, are ye flirtin' with me? That's hardly professional...
  • I updated your social media. I liked a whole bunch of old photos of your ex girlfriends. Turns out I'm evil incarnate.

Gift Edit

  • Alright! Ye've got taste, I admit it! Get out of my face!

Upgrade to Sweetheart Edit

  1. Hahaha! Yer becomin' quite the little charmer aren't ye? Let me guess - ye've been practicin' in the mirror? [Yes..]
  2. Ha! I can tell, because ye keep lookin' at me navel like ye're makin' eye contact. I'm up here, slick!

Sweetheart Edit

  • I polished yer car today. Wax on. Wax off. All that delightful innuendo.

Flirt Edit

  • Aye, I be attracted to ye. I've got a doctor's appointment scheduled for later. Don't fuss.
  • How do ye feel about fraternizin' with the staff? Because I'm definitely down with fraternizin'.
  • I highly recommend learnin' a new language or two. There's nothing better than a cunning linguist.
  • You know, after a few cups of the stout, you start lookin' pretty good.
  • Hey, if yer not busy, I was goin' to go skinny dippin' in the ocean at sunset. That's a lot of shenanigans for just one person.

Gift Edit

  • Aw Crap.Ye're starin' to buy me things I like. I'm going to expense this under "misc" and blame your poor impulse control.

Upgrade to Girlfriend Edit

  1. Made ye a little snack, Boss. And if yer hungry for dessert, I'm sure I could whip somethin' up fer ye... [Ok]
  2. I'll go get the whipped cream...

Girlfriend Edit

  • Need a wingwoman tonight? Alright, I'll go pick up a new cocktail dress and some heels.

Upgrade to Lover Edit

  1. Ah dear. Professional hazard. Turns out I'm startin' to fancy ya. Was this all a part of yer diabolical plan? [Yeah]
  2. Well, hook line and sinker, ye mangy charmer.

Lover Edit

  • The police dropped by lookin' for a masked vigilante. I cleared your internet history and pretended not to speak English.
  • Some creeper said my hair reminded him of an autumn sunrise. I punched him in the nose and said he reminded me of failure.
  • Good day to ye! Looking for a partner in crime today? I'm ready when you are.
  • Oh boss! Ye missed out! I just held a big car wash for you, and all the gals helped out. There were suds, and touching and I'm joking!
  • Why yes, I would love a coffee and an ear to talk off today. How did ye guess?
  • Oh! You caught me doing some actual cleaning. The upstairs bathroom has been declared a national disaster zone. I'm going in!
  • (Naked) Ahh! I feel so much more comfortable when I'm naked as a wee jay bird!
  • (Naked) Dress for the job you want! And I'm thinking of a very special sort of job right now...
  • (Naked) In case you hadn't picked up on it, Boss, I'm a bit of an exhibitionist.

Seduce Edit

  • I dressed up in a big bow for ya yesterday, and then the post lady came by. I invited her in, but she blushed and ran away.
  • If ye ever want to take up swordplay or brewing craft beer, let me know. I happen to be an expert.
  • Well crap. Now I'm all hot and bothered for ye. This is going to make things delightfully awkward.
  • Quick! I heard a cat caterwauling in the alley, so I tossed it some catnip. Quill is literally hanging from our ceiling!
  • I've scheduled a rave so you can work on your Funny stat. That pun you told me yesterday was worse than fascism.
  • So I've darned just about every sock, shirt, pants and pair of briefs in a hundred mile radius. Have you got some vendetta against garments?:
  • Ye ever heard of a bosom friend? How about a bosom friend with benefits? Hahaha!
  • Oh? You're curious why my uniform is so colorful? Well, I'll be dead in the cold ground before I dress up in French attire.
  • I restocked the cellar with wine, cigars, fine meats, black candles, arrows, and nine tubs of eye of newt. We've gotta be on some kind of watch list now.
  • I bet you're wondering what these nonsense sushi rolls are in my hair. Well keep wondering.
  • Pamu called for phone sex. Luckily, I can do a pretty good impression of you. That girl even made ME blush!
  • Elle dropped by and fell asleep on the porch. She's so bloody adorable. You'd better treat her right!
  • So I cleared your schedule... By accident. Totally accidental. So I guess you're free for trouble makin'...
  • (Naked) Lay back, and let me massage your shoulders. And your back. And your face. And hell, your sexy bits too. You knew where this was going.
  • (Naked) As a proper sexy maid, I've been trained in advanced flirting and alluring techniques. Right now I'm using my "naked" technique. Is it working?
  • (Naked) Aahh! That's much better! Clothes are the work of the devil, and I prefer to cast them aside!
  • (Naked) I moisturize like a fiend. Go ahead, see if ye can find a single spot of skin that's not silky smooth. Use your tongue for accuracy!
  • (Naked) Listen, I think ye need to pull yer weight more boss. And I've got just the thing for ye to clean. Step with me into the shower...
  • (Naked) Tra la la! Just a sweet, naked maid going about my dusting. It sure would be shocking to be interrupted...
  • (Naked) Just FYI boss, I'm very happy to clean the house naked, but there are a few chores that require hazmat suits by law.
  • (Naked) Naked is the natural state of a maid, such as myself. We wear the uniform to attract mates, but we're the happiest when we're the nakedest.

Gift Edit

  • Daw, thanks! This reminds me of an old saying. The shortest distance to a girl's heart is FREE STUFF!
  • Ye've got a generous heart, and a titanic wallet. Quite the combo, I'd say.
  • What a nice gesture! I'll add this to the dragons hoard of stuff ye've given me. But don't for a second think I don't love it!
  • Bloody hell. I actually like this. How dare ye actually make me swoon!
  • [Holiday Outfit] I must say boss, the holiday dress code has my approval. Want to get trashed on eggnog?
  • [Birthday Suit] I hope ye like freckles, boss. I've got a constellation's worth all over me bod. See what shapes he can find!

Poke Edit

  • You brutish sassenach! Quit invading me lands, or I'll box yer ears!
  • Ye've got a brave heart to tickle me, boss! I've got the reflexes of a Japanese Ninja, and temper of a Drunken Scot.
  • What's with the tickles? Where are the bum squeezes? The come-from-behind hugs? You are not getting your full money's worth having a sexy maid TM.

Date Edit

  • Hee hee, I'm not used to moonlit strolls fully clothed. Call me old fashioned I suppose!
  • It's too bad ye couldn't invite a few gals on the same date. These supposedly free trips are brutal on your bank account.
  • Well, yer plan worked. Ye've seen me bikini clad. I hope it lived up to yer expectations.
  • That movie was so testosterone packed, I was expecting to leave with a moustache. Let's go see it in 3D!

Sex Scene Edit

  1. You walk in on Nina, naked. She smiles. She strips you down and massages you with oil, rubbing your body with hers. Breasts press against you. Fingers explore. Finally you grab her, unable to stand it, and she laughs wickedly while you have your way...
  2. Afterward, you're spent, but she smiles at you alert and smug. "Ye gave ma a proper f***ing boss, and for that I thank ye. But I think I win the day, what with all that hollering ye did. So are we done, or do you want another shot at me?"

Dialogue About Ayano Edit

  • I found a garrote wire strung up in the conservatory. I think we've got an infestation of assassins or something!
  • Someone. Poisoned. The stout. Someone. Is going. TO PAY.
  • Hey, someone took the batteries out of the smoke detectors in the servant's wing. Maybe it was rats with advanced intelligence?
  • Last night, I heard someone breathing heavily in the bushes. I hope it was just a pervert!
  • Did you hear something creeping around the attic today? There shouldn't be anyone up there. I'm getting the heebee-geebees!
  • Bloody hell! I found a butcher's knife in me shower today. What sort of party did you have last night?

Requirement Table Edit

Updated for Steam version 0.79

Relationship Level Requirement 1 Requirement 2 Requirement 3 Requirement 4 Rewards
Adversary 900 affection 26 Suave Work at Hunting

Unlocks all Hobbies

0.40 Prestige multiplier

Nuisance 7,200 affection 28 Lucky 28 Mysterious $100,000,000 on hand (is spent) 0.60 Prestige multiplier
Frenemy 59,400 affection 30 Lucky New Car gift ($14,972,675,477) Reach "Soldier of Fortune" in Hunting job 0.80 Prestige multiplier
Acquaintance 490,050 affection 32 Mysterious 2 New Car gifts ($29,945,350,954) 1.00 Prestige multiplier
Friendzoned 4,165,425 affection Reach "Assassin" in Hunting job 3 New Car gifts ($44,918,026,431) 15 Moonlight Stroll dates ($15,000) 1.20 Prestige multiplier
Awkward Besties 35,406,113 affection 36 Mysterious 4 New Car gifts ($59,890,701,908) 15 Beach Dates ($150,000) 1.40 Prestige multiplier
Crush 300,951,956 affection Reach "One Man Army" in Hunting job 5 New Car gifts ($74,863,377,385) 15 Sightseeing dates ($1,500,000) 1.60 Prestige multiplier
Sweetheart 2,558,091,956 affection 41 Mysterious 6 New Car gifts ($89,836,052,862) 15 Movie Theater dates ($15,000,000) 1.80 Prestige multiplier
Girlfriend 21,743,778,839 affection 47 Lucky 7 New Car gifts ($104,808,728,339) Work at Slaying 2.00 Prestige multiplier
Lover You did it! 10.80 Total Prestige multiplier

Bug/Trivia Edit

  • Nina can be unlocked when you have $100,000,000 on hand (instead of $1 billion) in v. 0.94.
  • On her concept, she was called "Neena" before her name changed to "Nina".
  • Nina makes reference to Mrs. Doubtfire with making a wicked cup of cocoa in the Frenemy level when you say "Sorry".
  • Part of her dialogue when poked, "Ow! Ye wee, sleekit, cowran, tim'rous beastie! I'll cuff ya if ye persist!", is a reference to the poem To A Mouse by the famous Scottish poet Robert Burns.

Outfits Edit

Memory Album Edit