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Luna Friendzoned

Luna is the fourteenth girl unlocked in the game. She is unlocked after having level 42 at both the Meditation (Wisdom) and Skydiving (Luck) hobbies. You encounter her via summoning her as a mistake. You mispronounced a word in a pie summoning spell and summoned her instead.

The requirements listed here are from Steam version 0.48.

Dialogue List Edit

First Meeting Edit

  1. One dark and stormy night, while meddling with forces beyond your comprehension, you begin to cast a spell to create a delicious pie. But you accidentally mis-pronounce the magic word "Leviosaaa", and...
  2. Planar Field of the Light Fantastic - CRUSHED!
  3. Unleashing a powerful Sorceress Mercenary into the world. It appears she wants your head. Better find a way to defend yourself.

Adversary Edit

  • Oh man, you jest messed with the wrong sorceress! Don't call down the thunder unless you can handle the lightning!

Sorry Edit

  • Dark stuff beyond midnight! Scarlet beyond a bloody nose! Buried in the... Wait, I forgot the words...
  • You think the power of Love is strong enough to stand up to my Dragon Love Slave attack!?
  • Would you shut your pie hole?! I'm trying to cast a spell to destroy you! Rude!
  • You must be proud to be slain by someone so beautiful! Best death ever!
  • Haha! Look at this crazy spell I'm casting! I've barely got control of it! I probably shouldn't be casting drunk.
  • Prepare for destruction! Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt!...Lightning Bo-
  • Haha! Roll initiative, you little grue! You've got a date with 8d6 fire damage!

Poking Edit

  • Did you just grope my armor? You're bad at this!

Upgrade to Nuisance (old) Edit

  1. Darnit... Tearing that hole in the fabric of reality sort of winded me. Mind if we take a raincheck on our climatic battle? [Sure]
  2. Gee, thanks! You know, you're alright for a blob of human misery. Maybe we can grab a drink later!

Upgrade to Nuisance (new) Edit

  1. Oh, I see! You used some sort of Charisma based defense. Way to work that dumb stat. [Thanks]
  2. Alright, but let's see if you survive round two! Isn't turn-based combat exhilarating!?

Nuisance Edit

  • Battle cry! Rawr! Hahaha

Sorry Edit

  • You win some, you lose some. Not me though. I win some, or I get bored.
  • Ha! You're a formidable foe, I'll give you that. I shouldn't have tried to fight on an empty stomach!
  • Your Interruption Attack is very powerful. You must have a lot of practice talking to people who don't want to.
  • I'm surprised you're not more afraid! You're in the presence of the most powerful, beautiful and humble sorceress in Dark World!
  • On second thought, you don't really look like a threat to the multiverse. You look like a pillow.
  • Hmm, I don't really have a battle plan here. But I've never fireballed anything that didn't stop being a problem.
  • Violence isn't the answer. It's the question! And the answer is yes!
  • Hmm... You don't really look like a threat to the universe. You look like a marshmallow...
  • Is this a Disintegrate spell I'm casting? Or a muffin summoning spell? Hold still - let's find out!
  • You must be apart Vampire, cause you look lie a sucker to me! Tee hee!

Poking Edit

  • Ack! Your touch-based magical attack is CREEPY! Bleh!

Upgrade to Frenemy (old) Edit

  1. Alright, ready for round two squishy! Do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?
  2. Just Kidding! I can tell you're not exactly replete with epic loot. Let me know when you've got some purples to pawn!

Upgrade to Frenemy (new) Edit

  1. Now it's MY turn. Prepare yourself for my Dragon Love attack - the attack that simulates being "loved" by a Dragon! [!?!.]
  2. Hahaha! Just kidding! You can quit your adorable groveling - I'm not gonna slay you. Sheesh.

Frenemy Edit

  • Ooooh! I think I accidentally cursed my panties, and now they're haunted. Brr! I keep getting the chills!

Sorry Edit

  • (Same as Nuisance level)

Poking Edit

  • (Same as Nuisance level)

Gift Edit

  • Oh great! I can use this in a spell for creating buckets!

Upgrade to Acquaintances (old) Edit

  1. I suppose we can call a truce. The thought of your burning alive no longer tickles my fancy. Weird.
  2. Well, if you're going to stick around and pretend not to be staring at my ample frame, you REALLY need to buy me that drink.

Upgrade to Acquaintances (new) Edit

  1. So does this mean you want to call a truce? I mean, sometimes I shamelessly flirt with my enemies, but you probably do things a little differently... [Sure]
  2. Hee hee! Sounds good! Now to lull you into a false sense of security. I'm so confident, I'm saying my plans out loud!

Acquaintances Edit

  • Come play, my lord! (Hee hee! So lame!)

Chat Edit

  • (Same as Nuisance level)

Poking Edit

  • (Same as Nuisance level)

Gift Edit

  • (Same as Frenemy level)

Upgrade to Friendzone (old) Edit

  1. I'm not really much of a "friend" type person. People tend to annoy me, and I tend to fireball them. But I'd be willing to give it a shot. [Sure]
  2. Brilliant. Friends it is. Are there annual fees to pay, or any paperwork to fill out?

Upgrade to Friendzone (new) Edit

  1. I don't normally do the "friend" thing. I have lackeys, and minions, and love slaves... But, friends I guess? [Yeah]
  2. Why do I have the feeling that I'm falling into some sort of flirty trap?

Friendzone Edit

  • (Same as Acquaintances level)

Chat Edit

  • Better watch that sharp tongue, or I'll turn you into a newt. Have you seen newts? Mega creepy.
  • I enjoy looting treasure, killing demons, drinking grog and scaring my little sister. That's me to a T!
  • Please tell me you've got more than yogurt between your ears. It's frustrating finding good help these days.
  • Can you believe that literally everybody in my world has a larger cup size? Some call me "Washboard Chest". Then they die.
  • Hey, you mind being my guinea pig? I found a spell that shoots purple flames, and I want to know what they do. Seriously.
  • Alright, Squishy, you work for me now! I need a new lackey, since my last one was cooked by a fireball...I mean...he was fired.

Poke Edit

  • Did you just grope my armor? You're bad at this!

Gift Edit

  • Oooh, now we're talking! I love stuff - especially free stuff! Thanks, toots!

Date Edit

  • Ooh, the Moon in your world isn't the colour of blood! How quaint!

Upgrade to Awkward Besties (old) Edit

  1. This next relationship level is called Awkward Besties. What does that mean? Am I supposed to blush when you accidentally graze my hand?
  2. Hahaha! I don't blush, I'm afraid. Maybe we should switch roles in this relationship. Go get a skirt on, I'll wait.

Upgrade to Awkward Besties (new) Edit

  1. This next relationship level is called Awkward Besties. What does that mean? Am I supposed to blush when you accidentally graze my hand?
  2. Hahaha! That's ridiculous! I'll tell you what, why don't I just make it awkward by spontaneously destroying your clothes every so often?

Awkward Besties Edit

  • I used to wear more revealing armor, until I took an arrow to the navel. So much ouch.

Flirt Edit

  • You ever get writer's block, and you can't think of a rhyme for your magic spell? Can you think of anything that rhymes with face-melt?
  • Lord of Darkness of the Dark World, I call upon you. Grant me your dark darkness so I may darken the darkest regions of the dark, and bring darkness to the great darkness within the darkness!
  • Feel free to window shop, Squishy, but keep your hands off the glass. Catch my meaning?
  • I'm bored. Let's fight. I'll start casting my Sumakka Beech spell, and you try to wrestle me to the floor. Okay go!
  • Friendship is magic. But friends-with-benefits is true power, am I right?
  • I summoned a little doll that looks exactly like you to tidy up my chambers. He's got the cutest little butt!
  • You know how to get wine stains out of a cape? I killed a Grape Golem last week, and I can't seem to get it out. Do you think this counts as blood or wine?
  • I should probably get back to saving the world... But it's so boring. Last hope of mankind my tight little butt!

Poke Edit

  • (Same as Friendzone level)

Date Edit

  • Aha! That crab had NO chance! Never pick a water fight with a Dark Sorceress!

Gift Edit

  • I'll add this to my hoard. That's right, my hoard. Every self respecting magical mercenary sorceress needs a hoard!

Upgrade to Crush Edit

  1. Hmm. No fever. No plague. No curses or charms detected. Is this feeling I have literally just attraction? (...)
  2. Aw hell! I'm getting soft in my old age. Before you know it, and I'll be 29, middle aged, and giggling like an idiot. (...)

Crush Edit

  • (Same as Awkward Besties level)

Flirt

  • (Same as Awkward Besties level)

Poke Edit

  • Ooh! Such strong hands!

Gift Edit

  • Wooo! I've never seen one of these before! Okay, that's a total lie, but I still love it!

Date Edit

  • Damn wind! How am I supposed to look drama-llama epic with my cape flip flapping all over the place like that?

Upgrade to Sweetheart Edit

  1. As long as you're doing all this nice stuff, I may as well reward your thoughtfulness. Want me to polymorph you some larger muscles or appendages [No...]
  2. That's probably for the best. Those spells have a 3% chance to backfire. Not pretty. [...]

Sweetheart Edit

  • You don't think I'm... Umm... lacking in "plot", do you? You know... tracts of land?

Flirt Edit

  • One time, I had to fight a Tyrannosaurus Sex. Rated R, that battle was.
  • You rolled a critical success in that charisma check, sweet cheeks.
  • Oh! I get it! You're an Erosmancer! No wonder I keep imagining all those inappropriate things about you!
  • Oh dear, this armor feels SO HEAVY today... If only I was wearing something underneath, so I could take it off... Tee hee!
  • I don't mean to brag, but I'm a sparkling conversationalist and an amazing lover. You should consider courting me.

Poke Edit

  • (Same as Crush level)

Gift Edit

  • Darkness! Those who impress shall be embraced by the power you and I possess! LOVU SLAVU!

Date

  • That movie was fine, but there weren't enough fireballs for my taste.

Upgrade to Girlfriend Edit

  1. Against all my better judgement of keeping our relationship unrequited until at least the fourth season, I'm impatient. Shall we become proper bedfellows? [OK...]
  2. Great! Now try not to die in tragic circumstances, and we'll do just fine!

Girlfriend Edit

  • Ahh good, you're here. Grab a sword - I think I summoned a demon downstairs, and I need a meat shield.

Flirt Edit

  • One time, I had to fight a Tyrannosaurus Sex. Rated R, that battle was.
  • You rolled a critical success in that charisma check, sweet cheeks.
  • Oh! I get it! You're an Erosmancer! No wonder I keep imagining all those inappropriate things about you!
  • Oh dear, this armor feels SO HEAVY today... If only I was wearing something underneath, so I could take it off... Tee hee!
  • I don't mean to brag, but I'm a sparkling conversationalist and an amazing lover. You should consider courting me.

Poke Edit

  • Ohh! Such strong hands!

Gift Edit

  • Darkness! Those who impress shall be embraced by the power you and I possess! LOVU SLAVU!

Upgrade to Lover Edit

  1. Last level! We're about to hit the level cap. Are you ready to unlock the mysteries of love and the universe? [Yes]
  2. Yes! Ding! You unlocked Luna's Heart... and her breastplate. Hee hee! [...]

Lover Edit

  • Are we going out on a date today? Well, let's see... Do you want to go to the movies, or delve into the Dungeons of Violence with me?
  • I'm bored/ Let's travel to Wonderland in a strangely off-genre story twist.
  • Light magic is so passe. Oh look at me! I'm a beautiful little priss that's only interested in helping people! Man, people like that piss me off.
  • You're pretty neat, you know that? You get my official seal of approval. If you'd care to drop your pants, I'll go fetch the branding iron!
  • Take my hand... I want to preform a seance and summon up a demon from the abyss. Doesn't that sound like fun?

Sex Scene Edit

  1. She tears your clothes off, your buttons scattering to the wind. Her armor falls, as though by magic, revealing that she's already wet. Before you can even speak, she pulls you onto her, her nails digging into your back. The sun is already rising before she gets enough.
  2. Later, she stares at you, giggling softly. "Well, I know why you're a lousy sorcerer," she laughs, tracing the curve of her breast with her fingertips. "Your talents lay elsewhere." She winks. "That was definitely one for the quest log. Up for another round?"

Seduce Edit

  • You poor, unfortunate soul. Coming to me, the Dark Sorceress, for love. Well don't just stand there - get loving me!
  • Part of me hopes this is just a mind control spell or something. Thinking about you makes me blush. It's embarrassing!
  • I guess I should get used to you, seeing how I like you so much.
  • So, do you wanna get wrecked on potions and play hide the magic wand?
  • Do you know that romantic song, "Do you believe in magic?" Well... Isn't that a stupid song?
  • Wait until later... I know a few spells you might find intrusive... I mean invigorating!
  • Every time someone says "Magic Deck", I think of something else entirely. Boo.
  • The last batch of golems I summoned all had your face. I was sort of simultaneously horrified, turned on, and embarrassed at the same time.
  • Okay, I admit it. Despite her better judgement, you have attracted the world's most powerful sorceress. Great job!
  • Ugh! Here I thought we would end things in a climactic battle. But now I just want to keep kissing your stupid face.
  • I found a spell for Power Word - Climax. I kinda want you to try it on me...
  • Have you ever heard of the spell Bigby's Grasping Hand? It's actually pretty great. Bigby was my kind of freak!
  • I put a spell on you. And now you're mine. If you don;t believer, you'd better get superstitious. Just ask my friends - I'm vicious!

Gift Edit

  • Ahh yes, now we get to the meat of the relationship. Put it over there, next to my giant golden statue of my face.
  • Oh hell! You're actually giving me this? Either you have no idea of it's value... Or you're super sweet and wonderful and kind of dumb!
  • Ooh, this looks expensive! And it had better be expensive, because I'll find out whether this is some kind of knock off eventually...
  • Yes! After my long travels, I have finally gotten more stuff! It never gets old!

Poke Edit

  • Still with the tickling! Do you have some magical curse that forces you to tickle beautiful gurls, or are just TOTALLY ANNOYING!?
  • Ack! No I can't - HA HA HA ! No no no! HA HA HA!
  • You jerk, Making magical ladies look bad just because they can't resist your foolish ways.

Dialogue about Ayano Edit

  • I found a knife in my door today. So I left a battleaxe. Ball's in their court, I would say.
  • Heh heh! I saw someone sneaking up with a knife. Rouges do it from behind, am I right?
  • Hey! Have you met that weird emotionless girl? She's got potential!
  • Ugh! I think I either have a stalker or an assassin chasing me. They're BOTH annoying!
  • I've got bad juju feelings lately. I wonder if there's a demon plotting my demise again.
  • I wonder if I can get that emotionless girl to join my gang. She'd be an amazing right hand!

Requirement Table Edit

Relationship Level Requirement 1 Requirement 2 Requirement 3 Requirement 4
Adversary 25,000 affection 45 Smart 45 Badass
Nuisance 275,000 affection 48 Mysterious Reach "Planet Buster" in Slayer job
Frenemy 3,093,750 affection 50 Suave 10,000 Shoes ($1,571,004,200,000) Reach "Lucky Duck" at Casino Job
Acquaintance 34,804,898 affection 52 Buff 10,000 Necklaces ($14,853,844,720,000) Reach "More-cerer" at Wizard job
Friendzoned 400,253,906 affection 100 Moonlight Stroll dates ($100,000) 10,000 New Cars ($149,726,754,770,000) Reach "Star Destroy-Doer" at Slaying job
Awkward Besties 4,602,919,922 affection 100 Beach dates ($1,000,000) 10 Magic Candles ($958,251,230,540,000) Level 52 Funny
Crush 52,933,579,102 affection 100 Sightseeing dates ($10,000,000) 5 Enchanted Scarf ($6,132,807,875,485,000) Reach "Grand Magus" at Wizard job
Sweetheart 608,736,159,668 affection 3 Bewitched Jam ($94,199,928,967,476,000) 100 Movie Theater dates ($100,000,000) Level 54 Wisdom
Girlfriend 7,000,465,836,182 Affection Mystic Slippers ($160,767,878,771,160,000) Level 57 Lucky Reach "Deity Destroyer" at Slaying job
Lover You did it!

Trivia Edit

  • One of her "Sorry" lines at Adversary level is a butchering of the chant for "Dragon Slave", the strongest black magic from the series Slayers
  • Her line "Come play, my lord!" at Acquaintance level is a reference to ads for the game malware-infested mess Evony, which advertised itself using the above line in conjunction with images of attractive (and possibly scantily-clad) women.
  • Her line "I used to wear more revealing armor, until I took an arrow to the navel." which is modified from "I used to be an Adventurer like you, until I took an arrow to the knee" which is a meme originating in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
  • She is the profile picture for the developer's Twitter (until December 2016 when Mio replaced her)
  • Her line "You better watch that sharp tongue of yours, or I'll turn you into a newt" may be a reference to film Monty Python and the Holy Grail, in which a character famously shouts during the "witch-testing" segment, "She turned me into a newt!" to show said character is a witch.
  • Another reference to Monty Python and the Holy Grail is seen in her Sweethearts level, as she refers to her breasts as "tracts of land".
  • One of her lover quotes, "Poor unfortunate Soul", is a reference to the song Ursula sang to Ariel in "The Little Mermaid".
  • "Leviosaaa" in the opening sequence is a reference to "Wingardium Leviosa", a viral video of a Harry Potter parody animiation by Oney Cartoons.
  • "Heh heh! I saw someone sneaking up with a knife. Rouges do it from behind, am I right?" is reference to third song of "ETC", World of Warcraft rock band, called "Rouges do it from behind"

Outfits Edit

Memory Album Edit

Fan Edits Edit

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