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Alpha Friendzoned

Alpha is the twelfth girl unlocked in the game. She is unlocked after having level 25 at the Brooding (Angst) hobby. She is a virtual idol from Japan, but during one of her concerts, you crush the atmosphere with the sheer infectiousness of your angst. That's the way your first meeting goes. Well, it can only get better from here...right?

The requirements listed here are from Steam version 0.48, which changed the requirements from the previous versions.

Dialogue List Edit

First Meeting Edit

  1. One night, while you're out at a concert, you remember how hollow existence is in such a vast material universe.
  2. Your unique and special angsty feelings overwhelm the entire audience, killing the vibe and angering the performers.
  3. Atmosphere - CRUSHED!
  4. It appears you've ruined the show. Maybe you should apologize to the performer. Or not. Whatever man. No one understands your feelings.

Adversary Edit

  • I just downloaded a poker face. A po-po-poker. Ya ya ya ya!*

*Note: Changed quote from "You less than thoughtful person! You're lucky it's literally impossible for me to insult a fan!"

Sorry Edit

  • You mean old grump! You stormy cloud! You wrecked my show!
  • I will never forgive you! You better not even ask me! Don't even bother!
  • I sang the happiest songs in my algorithm, and you still made everyone gloomy doomy!

Poke Edit

  • Don't get too excited. I'm programmed to react like that. I can't feel it.

Upgrade to Nuisance Edit

  1. Gloomy McGloomface. That's you. You think you can just apologize your way out of this? [Yes]
  2. Apology accepted. You're lucky I've been programmed with the patience and forgiveness of a Japanese idol singer - THE MOST FORGIVING CREATURES ON EARTH!

Nuisance Edit

  • One advantage of being digital is it's always a nice hair day!

Sorry Edit

  • This is the first time I've been away from my Handlers. Just so I could tell you how big of a pain you are. Yes, that's how angry I am.
  • If anyone is upset I'm here, I'm telling them that it was because you got super chatty and I was politely stuck here.
  • I'm going to write the nicest, happiest song ever. And It's going to be about your face. THEN we'll see who's grouchy.
  • Gosh, It's weird not being around all the crowds and fans. This is the first time I've gone twenty minutes without someone telling me my schedule.
  • If I were you, I would uninstall that Angst subroutine and install a fun and flirty game, or something.

Poke Edit

  • Don't get too excited. I'm programmed to react like that. I can't feel it.

Upgrade to Frenemy Edit

  1. According to my diagnostics, we fulfill all the critera of frenemies. Does that correlate with the results you have? [Yes]
  2. Huh, fancy that. Frenemies it is then. I'll update my social media empire.

Frenemy Edit

  • I got some malware yesterday and turned evil for a few hours. But no worries - I'm all fixed up now.

Sorry Edit

  • This is the first time I've been away from my Handlers. Just so I could tell you how big of a pain you are. Yes, that's how angry I am.
  • If anyone is upset I'm here, I'm telling them that it was because you got super chatty and I was politely stuck here.
  • I'm going to write the nicest, happiest song ever. And It's going to be about your face. THEN we'll see who's grouchy.
  • Gosh, It's weird not being around all the crowds and fans. This is the first time I've gone twenty minutes without someone telling me my schedule.
  • If I were you, I would uninstall that Angst subroutine and install a fun and flirty game, or something.

Poking Edit

  • Don't get too excited. I'm programmed to react like that. I can't feel it.

Gift Edit

  • Oh, Thank you. But I don't have any need for material objects. I can't interact with them anyway.

Upgrade to Acquaintances Edit

  1. I sent you a friend request on all 114 social media channels I update every 4.8 seconds. Feel free to accept 30 or 40 most common ones. [Sure]
  2. Great. Nothing too special of course. You're the 11,039,295,112th fan to join my page.

Acquaintances Edit

  • All these nice things you say... I bet you say them to all the synthetic automatons...

Chat Edit

  • This is the first time I've been away from my Handlers. Just so I could tell you how big of a pain you are. Yes, that's how angry I am.
  • If anyone is upset I'm here, I'm telling them that it was because you got super chatty and I was politely stuck here.
  • I'm going to write the nicest, happiest song ever. And It's going to be about your face. THEN we'll see who's grouchy.
  • Gosh, It's weird not being around all the crowds and fans. This is the first time I've gone twenty minutes without someone telling me my schedule.
  • If I were you, I would uninstall that Angst subroutine and install a fun and flirty game, or something.

Poke Edit

  • Haha! I wish I could really feel what it's like to be tickled. It sounds so cute and crazy!

Gift Edit

  • Oh, Thank you. But I don't have any need for material objects. I can't interact with them anyway.

Upgrade to Friendzone Edit

  1. I like talking to you. I don't really have many people that just try to chat with me. it's nice. [Oh.]
  2. Tee hee! Well, I'm sort of glad now you gloomed your way into my life...

Friendzone Edit

Chat Edit

  • If I start glitching all crazy, say, "Alpha! Reboot!" and I shoul-----------
  • Sometimes, I like to imagine I can hug the things I see. I would love to know what hugging a tree or a bear feels like...
  • I suppose I like Programmers the best of all the hominid occupations. It's hard to love your creators.
  • So... What does a solid person do for fun? I'm a hologram, so I can't hit a volleyball or eat a falafel.
  • Yesterday, due to an internet glitch, I switched to Canadian English. I was immediately sorry.
  • I wrote a song about you. It's called, "Penalty In The Friendzone - Loss Of 15 Yards."

Poke Edit

  • Oh my! I can't handle it! I'm going to pass out! The sensation is overwhelming me!!

Gift Edit

  • giggle* You sure do like your gifts, don't you? Alright, I'll play along. Why thank you! I shall put this on a "table" in my "apartment".

Upgrade to Awkward Besties Edit

  1. Listen... I care for all my fans, but I have an entire CPU core dedicated to processing my feelings for you. Do you have an equivalent preoccupation? [Sure]
  2. Wonderful! We're Besties now! I'll order some decorative candles to celebrate!

Awkward Besties Edit

  • Do songaloids dream of electric beats? The answer is yes.

Flirt Edit

  • Quit playing games with my heart. No seriously, I can't spare the CPU. Get a Tablet or something.
  • I would do anything for love... but I won't do fat. Just kidding - I love all body types!
  • I'm no stranger to love. I know the rules. And so do you.
  • Ain't no mountain high enough! Ain't no connection slow enough! Ain't no breakfast fried enough to keep me from getting to you babe!
  • Can anybody... Find me... Somebody to... Loooooooove!
  • Hey Dude... Don't make it bad. Take a sad song! And go get her!
  • You can tell everyone this is your song. Because it is. It's called, "A Song About <Marshmallow>"!
  • All you need is love... and a decent lithium battery.

Poke Edit

  • Oh my! I can't handle it! I'm going to pass out! The sensation is overwhelming me!!

Gift Edit

  • I appreciate the gesture. I'll pretend to hold this for a little while. If only I had hands and... Core Strength?.

Upgrade to Crush Edit

  1. The more time we spend together, the more I wish that I was more... Solid? I wish I knew what your hand felt like in mine...
  2. Hahaha! Sorry, I get carried away sometimes. Thanks for hanging out with me!

Crush Edit

  • Umm... If my clothes don't load properly, please let me know. There was an incident at the Super Bowl last year...

Gift Edit

  • Wonderful! I love this, and not just because it came from you.

Upgrade to Sweetheart Edit

  1. So, I took all 98.36 million personality tests online, and they all say we're "compatable". Does that mean we... work? Like as... Friends plus plus? [Sure]
  2. I guess that's science! Can't argue with results like that!

Sweetheart Edit

  • I accidentally copy/pasted my personality matrix into a "smart" toaster. Let me tell you, THAT was a strange afternoon.

Flirt Edit

  • I hope you don't mind... I hope you don't mind... That I ripped off some words... about how wonderful life is - now that you're in my world...
  • Thank you for your kindness. i wish we could hold hands, so I could show you my feelings.
  • You're so very special... I wish I was special... But I'm a songolid... I don't belong here...
  • I could sing a trillion petaflops of my love for you...
  • My RAM is filled with thoughts of you. It's causing weird fragment issu-you've got a nice butt!

Gift Edit

  • I love this! I'm going to hug it every day! I'm hugging it right now in my imagination!

Upgrade to Girlfriend Edit

  1. I had a dream last night, when I was installing a new patch, that we were dancing in each others arms. Talk about romantic!
  2. Maybe we can pretend sometime! We can stand close, and imagine what it would be like together... For real... *Sniff*...

Girlfriend Edit

  • DROP THE BEAT!!! BRRRREEEOOOWWWWWDGNDGNDGNDGNDGN!!!

Upgrade to Lover Edit

  1. What is this? A "Magic USB"? Where did you get this? Am I supposed to install this? [Yes]
  2. What?! I'm human!!!!! OMG! I can't believe it! I need to go to the beach right now! I need ice cream! I need falafel!

Lover Edit

  • Hey there! I was just practicing some new dance moves. Since they can't be uploaded directly into my brain anymore, I get to learn them from scratch. It's fun!
  • Watch this! If I blow air through my hands, it sounds like a fart! Why are bodies so weird?!
  • I just ate chocolate! It was incredible! Like a kiss for my soul!
  • I got hit in the noggin by a volleyball, because I forgot that I was corporeal. How do you manage to keep track of all these things?
  • Man, now that I take showers, my singing sounds even better while I'm in there. I wonder if I can fit a whole concert in there...
  • Harder. Stronger. Faster. Better. Wrap me in a techno sweater!

Seduce Edit

  • Umm... Someday, do you think we could try... Cooking the spaghetti? It looks like fun but I don't know how stoves work...
  • Oh my stars! I'm real! OMG! I can't believe it! I'm so happy!
  • Hold me! Pinch me! Tickle me!
  • Hug time! Hug me, and swing me around until I get dizzy. It's awful and amazing at the same time!
  • You know, even with all the really big and amazing things out there, your kiss is still my most favourite thing.
  • Oh man, I drank all that colorful stuff yesterday, and now my body is in severe discomfort. How fascinating!
  • Today I tried singing in the rain, but it was surprisingly damp.
  • Hold my hand, and take me places. I'll follow you anywhere.
  • I wrote another song about you. It's called, "I Have Organs Now, And They're Hungry."
  • I got stung by a bee! Even though it hurt, it hurt in a sort of magnificent way. Life is so extraordinary!
  • Hello! I'm happy to see you! And hear you, and smell you too. Having senses is so cool!
  • I passed out on stage yesterday. It turns out there's this thing called "sleep" that I'm supposed to do sometimes.
  • Look! I have dimples! And a few freckles! My hands are shaking, and there are tears in my eyes!
  • Do you want to come to my show later? My managers say you're no longer banned. Just try not to have an existential crisis.
  • Okay great! I'll get you a VIP pass. You can come hang out backstage!
  • So I'm going to be going on tour for a bit soon. Will you.. Will you want to see me when I get back?
  • Okay, phew! According to my rom-com memory banks, this matter was supposed to generate a lot more drama and heartache.
  • So, are there even more ways our relationship can develop? I'm expecting you to turn stars or rainbows or something.
  • Well, no matter what it is, I'll be by your side.

Gift Edit

  • I'm not going to lie - tearing off the paper is half the fun of these gifts. Prrrrrk! Ha ha ha! I love it!
  • Oh geez... How can I accept such a wonderful gift? Thank you. From the bottom of my GPU. Thank you.
  • Now that I can touch things, I love these things ever more. I didn't even know some of it was for eating!
  • Wow, some of these gifts smell really nice. The roses and new cars are surprisingly good smelling. Can you get a bouquet of new cars?

Poke Edit

  • Eek! You surprised me! You're tricky and ridiculous. You're tridiculous!
  • Ah ha ha! I love it when you tickle me! I feel like I could be tickled by you forever, though I'd probably eventually pass out.
  • Ahh ha! Oh man, why are there tears coming from my eyes? Does tickling make me sad now?
  • (Naked) Oh! Did you mean to caress my nipples like that?! Oooh! I have shivers now!

Date Edit

  • I love going to the movies! Especially movies with CGI characters. I wish they were eligible for Academy Awards!
  • The ocean is so beautiful. It fills me with hope. Plus I really rock that bikini!
  • Here I am, an artificial girl, walking among the trees, thinking of you...
  • This was a triumph. I'm making a note here - Huuuge success!

Sex Scene Edit

  1. She has goosebumps before you even touch her. She closes her eyes as she caresses herself. The feeling is overwhelming. Her first orgasm erupts from a kiss down below. Her pleas for more form a song, and she sings again and again...
  2. Later she speaks a mile a minute, her body pink, her eyes sparkling. "There was this spot you found inside," she giggles, "it felt like... I died. From pleasure. I felt like I forgot my name. Can we do this ALL the time??"

Dialogue About Ayano Edit

  • I received a fan-made plushy version of myself yesterday. Unfortunately, it had gotten mangled and stabbed during shipment.
  • Fortunately, I'm programmed to respond politely to all stalkers and potentially dangerous fans. They're so cute!
  • I received a very distressing love note today. All part of being an idol though!
  • My handlers told me that I received some poisoned chocolates. I wonder if by accident?
  • I think someone tried to hack my servers today. And by "hack" I mean with a meat cleaver.
  • Oh my! A piece of light rigging fell on me today! Luckily I'm incorporeal.

Requirement TableEdit

Relationship Level Requirement 1 Requirement 2 Requirement 3 Requirement 4 Rewards
Adversary 1,000 affection 28 Techsavvy $50,000,000 on hand 0.60 Prestige multiplier
Nuisance 9,000 affection 32 Tenderness 0.90 Prestige multiplier
Frenemy 83,250 affection 34 Motivation 5,000 Shell gifts ($2,000,000) 1.20 Prestige multiplier
Acquaintance 770,063 affection 35 Funny 5,000 Rose gifts ($4,800,000) 1.50 Prestige multiplier
Friendzoned 7,315,594 affection Work at "Legal" 5,000 Book gifts ($516,545,000) 20 Moonlight Stroll dates ($20,000) 1.80 Prestige multiplier
Awkward Besties 69,498,141 affection 40 Tenderness 5,000 Flowers gifts ($10,738,935,000) 20 Beach dates ($200,000) 2.10 Prestige multiplier
Crush 660,252,336 affection Reach "Lawyer" at Legal job 500 Shoes gifts ($78,550,210,000) 20 Sightseeing dates ($2,000,000) 2.40 Prestige multiplier
Sweetheart 6,272,207,191 affection 45 mysterious 500 Designer Bag gifts ($2,339,480,543,500) 20 Movie Theater dates ($20,000,000) 2.70 Prestige multiplier
Girlfriend 59,585,968,318 affection 49 tenderness Work at Love USB item gift ($5) 3.00 Prestige multiplier
Lover You did it! 16.20 Total Prestige multiplier

Trivia Edit

  • She refers herself as a songaloid, which is a play-on word for vocaloid, she also slightly resembles the vocaloid character Hatsune Miku.
  • One of her lines, "Do songaloids dream of electric beats? The answer is yes.", is a reference to Philip K. Dick's novel, "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?".
  • [Chinese]The Girlfriend quotes“你有Freestyle吗? 我有Freestyle,你呢?” refers to the 中国有嘻哈 Scene when 吴亦凡 requested Freestyle to one of the contestants which turns out to be one of the Popular Memes for Chinese.
  • Some of her lines are song references, like these:
    • [Chinese]“如果你決定跟隨感覺,為愛勇敢一次,如果你說我們有彼此。”-“如果的事”
    • [Chinese]“因为我刚好遇见你,留下足迹才美丽;风吹花落泪如雨,因为不想分离。”-“刚好遇见你”
    • [Chinese]“我要你陪著我,看著那海龟水中游;慢慢的爬在沙滩上,数著浪花一朵朵。”-“浪花一朵朵”
    • [Chinese] “就在这花好月圆夜,兩心相愛心相悅;在这花好月圆夜,有情人兒成双对。”-“花好月圆夜”
    • [Chinese] “哇靠! 你这个气氛破坏鬼! 哇靠! 你这个死非洲脸!”- “惊叹号” (Changed so it suits the situation)
    • "I hope you don't mind... I hope you don't mind... That I ripped off some words... about how wonderful life is - now that you're in my world..." - Elton John's Your Song.
    • "Hey Dude... Take a sad song... and go get her!" - Quite a bit of changes, but the song is The Beatle's Hey Jude.
    • "You're so very special...I wish I was special...But I'm a songaloid...I don't belong here..."-Radiohead's Creep.
    • "Ain't no mountain high enough! Ain't no connection low enough! Ain't no breakfeast fried enough to keep me away from you babe!"- Marvin Gaye's Ain't No Mountain High Enough.
    • "This was a triumph. I'm making a note here - Huuuge success!" - Ellen McLain's Still Alive (Portal End credit theme)
    • "Can anybody... Find me... Somebody to... Loooooooove!" - Queen's Somebody to Love
    • "I'm no stranger to love - I know the rules, and so do you." - Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up.
  • In her line "Oh my! I can't handle it! I'm going to pass out! The sensation is overwhelming me!!" she seems to have a bit of an accent.
    • This seems to be the case for a few of her other lines as well.

Outfits Edit

Memory Album Edit